Passion

The List 2008

Passion.  I wrote a journal entry to myself almost 10 years ago with a list of the top 10 things I wanted in a relationship. I wrote the list again in 2008...just as a refresher and as a check point.  I wrote the list again 3 days ago, for those same reasons.

The List 2015

I think it's good to have check-ins with me...After all, the longest relationship I'll be in, is the relationship with me. So I like to check-in and re-write my list. I like to see if the same items are on the list each time and if they change positions.  I mean after nearly 10 years, I'm bound to grow and change.  It's good to know where and how I've changed...sometimes the changes are under the surface and we need to dig for them. Sometimes the list needs affirmation. Do I still need/want the same things?

Turns out, I haven't changed all that much in over the last 10 years. There are a few shifts and placement changes on the list...but for the most part, the list has been consistent.

At the top of my list has always been passion.  I must have passion in my relationships. I'm drawn to people with passion. When someone is passionate for something, anything, it's inspiring.  Even if a person is passionate about something you really dislike (think politics) it makes you passionate.  It's contagious.  In a loving relationship, that contagious passion is so so so awesome.  It's wonderful to watch someone you care about follow their passion and chase their dreams.

Many couples in long-term relationships will tell you that passion fades and you must have the other things on your list for the relationship to be sustained.  In one way, I agree...sure, you're probably not going to have butterflies every single time you see your significant other.  I get it. Life is life and it will try to beat the passion out of us.

But here is my thing...because I tend to always have a thing. I been in the presence of couples who never ever lose the passion for each other. "Like ever" as my girl Taylor says. They have been together for years and years and they still have the goo. I hope you are one of those couples.  I can feel it when I am in their presence. It warms me from the inside. So it can and it does last a lifetime. It doesn't have to fade.

And, I think I've realized something critical. Something I think these gooey folks have realized long ago. It's that passion comes in many, many forms.  If your only passion is for your significant other, of course that's going to fade.  But, if you and your significant other (or your friends, family or any relationship you have) have passion not only for each other but for causes or actions, for work, for family, for music, traveling, politics, sports, make-up, jeans, exercise, whatever...does the passion ever really fade?

I don't think so my friends.  How could it?  Really? It's contagious and inspiring and fun! Who doesn't like fun inspiration?  The passion will be constantly present in a variety of ways.  Being in a relationship with someone who is passionate is what's necessary for sustaining passion in life and in relationships.  It's very different from simply having passion in your relationships. And, it's something I literally just realized this week.  #latetotheparty

When I started thinking about my current relationship (which is amazing, btw) and when I checked it against my trusty list, I had this realization about passion.  It's probably not a huge deal for anyone but me, but for me, it's a HUGE deal!  He and I have passion for quite a few things, including us and our relationship. And, just as important as how we feel about each other is how we feel about other passions in our lives...both together and separately. We not only support each other's passions, we thrive on them. Our passions make us happy for us and for each other.  We have an easy, natural, mutual support of, understanding, acceptance and love of passion.

And, that my readers, hits so many things on my list!!!  Passion, love,  trust, understanding, individualism/space, empowerment, fun, acceptance, honesty. Whoa! And, maybe even bigger news is that, I'm not even freaking out about it.  I'm loving this discovery. Loving it!!  Double whoa!

I've known for a long time that passion was at the top of my list...it's important. It's always been important to me...even before I truly understood what it is or how it's important.  Understanding why it's important, how it's important and what's so important about it in my relationships has been profound.  It's seriously been life-changing. Feeling it, seeing it and watching it in others as well as myself is something of amazement.

I write all of this not to brag about my new found realization, but rather to say...readers...check your lists!!  Check-in with you. Take yourself on a journey of self-discovery and checking-in. While it can be scary and you might not know what you're going to find, if you're like me you might find a hidden gem nugget of information that changes your life for the best. You might gain valuable insight into the inner workings of you. And, when you know you, understand you and love you...you are happy.

Information...data points...something I don't search out easily.  But something engineers thrive on. Irony or coincidence or Faith?  I'm going with Faith. I love the goo!!!!!!!!!! It's so great! :-)

Faith

XO~