A Letter to my 25 year old Self, Today

 

It's not my birthday. And, I love cupcakes.

Sometimes you feel settled and content. Sometimes you feel antsy and ready for a change.  Sometimes you feel old and you need to reflect.  And, sometimes you think back to what you think would have helped you along the way. Only if you had had that help you might not be where you are, which is where you supposed to be.  Crazy, I know.

Dear Elizabeth,

You are 25 years old.  You’ve just graduated from college and you feel so accomplished.  Congratulations!  It took hard work, direction and dedication to doing something with your life.  You did great job.  I’m proud of you.  Very well done!!

Since I am you I know you feel old, late to the party and not sure what you are going to do for the rest of your life. Relax!!!  It’s all ok…you are nowhere close to being old, the party is just getting started and it’s absolutely ok to not know what you are going to do with the rest of your life.  College was just the beginning of the road to life-long learning about who you are and what you want. You have your whole life to be an adult and it's ok to be somewhere inbetween.

You and your fiancé have just been through a major life changing illness and he’s a survivor.  It was a hard fought battle that some don’t win, no matter how hard they fight.  Both of you are very blessed to be through the daily battle, but know that the emotional war will rage on…for the rest of your lives.  Now is the time to live your life and have fun. You should be in no rush to be adults. There is no hurry to get married.  Go be young and in love.  As someone who can see the future, I’d ask you to wait on the wedding. Take some time to be a couple and learn to live individually before committing to a life together.   You don’t know what goo is yet. When you do, it just might change your perspective on marriage. 

Unless a person comes from money (which is rare), know that no one at 25 is financially set.  You have all you need.  Obviously, you need money to live, but money is not your driver. Don’t give up on things you want to do because of money. Also, don’t let others influence your desires based on money or lack thereof.  

Travel!!! Get out of Pasadena!! Consider a position that has travel responsibilities.  There is a huge world beyond your home town.  You know in your heart you want to leave…even if you end up coming back, get out for a while.  The world is an amazing sight to see. There are people all over who can teach you things about life.  Leave Maryland at least once per year and go somewhere new. Go on at least one girl’s trip per year. Don’t make excuses, just do it.

Be active!  Get outside and do things.  Live a life of fun and activity.  Run, bike, swim, play games/sports. Join the gym and actually go.  You will live longer and feel so much better when you commit to an active lifestyle. P.S. you will be in much better shape when you are in your 30's than you are at 25...so if you actually did this today, you'd kill your mile time!

Beach workouts in the BVI...funner than you'd think.

Listen to your heart and it will guide you…even when it is hard.  Your heart knows you better than you think you know yourself.  Don’t make choices because you think they are the right thing to do.  Don’t make choices out of fear or uncertainty.  Make choices because you are following your heart.  Choices that are right for you might be hard to make. They will require that you take chances.  They may mean you will be on your own. They may not make sense to others.  But you are strong, your instincts are good, and you can stand on your own. 

Do your best but don’t be afraid to fail. Be honest with your parents, your family and your friends.  Ask for help, guidance, direction and perspective.  Be vulnerable.  Know that vulnerability is not a weakness, it is strength in disguise.

Surround yourself with those who cheer for you, encourage you to follow your dreams and push you outside of your comfort zone.  Seek out those who will make you better. Talk to them, listen to them and learn from them. Gain perspective from their paths and then make your path.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you don’t have choices.  You get to choose every day to be true to you.  You choose your friends, your loves, your job, your life…Anyone who tells you otherwise, is wrong. 

Give back.  Give back to your family, you friends, and your community.  Strive to give more than you get.  You don’t realize this yet, but you are happiest when you are giving.

Earth Day Birthday painting with your Fave Friend circa 2006

Your ability to love and build relationships is one of your greatest gifts.  Keep your heart open, even in the face of difficulties.  Know that love is not about control, change or need.  Love is unconditional and it doesn’t come and go on your timeline.  Also know that those who truly love you will love you for who you are. They will not try and change you. They will embrace you.  Remember to love the way you want to be loved. Don’t expect anyone to change for you…love them how they are, or let them go.

Life is a crazy, fun, hard, unpredictable and amazing ride. Each day is a gift and not a given. You may feel old and unsure today, but in 10 years you will see just how young you were.  Don’t cave to the pressure of the predictable or the expected.  More than telling them, show those you love, your love. Actions far exceed the power of any words. Be honest, be kind, always take the high road and most of all, enjoy the ride.  You won’t get this time back, so enjoy it.  Don’t wish away and don’t wish you had…take chances and you’ll be happy to see where the road leads you. 

Life is short...have fun with it!

Since I have the luxury of writing this letter from the future, I know that, even without this advice, you will do great.  But if you listen to this advice it will help along the way.  And, in the present day of today, remember you will never be too old to listen, learn, try again and be happy. It’s your life….make it count!

xo~
Elizabeth