A Letter to my 25 year old Self, Today

 

It's not my birthday. And, I love cupcakes.

Sometimes you feel settled and content. Sometimes you feel antsy and ready for a change.  Sometimes you feel old and you need to reflect.  And, sometimes you think back to what you think would have helped you along the way. Only if you had had that help you might not be where you are, which is where you supposed to be.  Crazy, I know.

Dear Elizabeth,

You are 25 years old.  You’ve just graduated from college and you feel so accomplished.  Congratulations!  It took hard work, direction and dedication to doing something with your life.  You did great job.  I’m proud of you.  Very well done!!

Since I am you I know you feel old, late to the party and not sure what you are going to do for the rest of your life. Relax!!!  It’s all ok…you are nowhere close to being old, the party is just getting started and it’s absolutely ok to not know what you are going to do with the rest of your life.  College was just the beginning of the road to life-long learning about who you are and what you want. You have your whole life to be an adult and it's ok to be somewhere inbetween.

You and your fiancé have just been through a major life changing illness and he’s a survivor.  It was a hard fought battle that some don’t win, no matter how hard they fight.  Both of you are very blessed to be through the daily battle, but know that the emotional war will rage on…for the rest of your lives.  Now is the time to live your life and have fun. You should be in no rush to be adults. There is no hurry to get married.  Go be young and in love.  As someone who can see the future, I’d ask you to wait on the wedding. Take some time to be a couple and learn to live individually before committing to a life together.   You don’t know what goo is yet. When you do, it just might change your perspective on marriage. 

Unless a person comes from money (which is rare), know that no one at 25 is financially set.  You have all you need.  Obviously, you need money to live, but money is not your driver. Don’t give up on things you want to do because of money. Also, don’t let others influence your desires based on money or lack thereof.  

Travel!!! Get out of Pasadena!! Consider a position that has travel responsibilities.  There is a huge world beyond your home town.  You know in your heart you want to leave…even if you end up coming back, get out for a while.  The world is an amazing sight to see. There are people all over who can teach you things about life.  Leave Maryland at least once per year and go somewhere new. Go on at least one girl’s trip per year. Don’t make excuses, just do it.

Be active!  Get outside and do things.  Live a life of fun and activity.  Run, bike, swim, play games/sports. Join the gym and actually go.  You will live longer and feel so much better when you commit to an active lifestyle. P.S. you will be in much better shape when you are in your 30's than you are at 25...so if you actually did this today, you'd kill your mile time!

Beach workouts in the BVI...funner than you'd think.

Listen to your heart and it will guide you…even when it is hard.  Your heart knows you better than you think you know yourself.  Don’t make choices because you think they are the right thing to do.  Don’t make choices out of fear or uncertainty.  Make choices because you are following your heart.  Choices that are right for you might be hard to make. They will require that you take chances.  They may mean you will be on your own. They may not make sense to others.  But you are strong, your instincts are good, and you can stand on your own. 

Do your best but don’t be afraid to fail. Be honest with your parents, your family and your friends.  Ask for help, guidance, direction and perspective.  Be vulnerable.  Know that vulnerability is not a weakness, it is strength in disguise.

Surround yourself with those who cheer for you, encourage you to follow your dreams and push you outside of your comfort zone.  Seek out those who will make you better. Talk to them, listen to them and learn from them. Gain perspective from their paths and then make your path.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you don’t have choices.  You get to choose every day to be true to you.  You choose your friends, your loves, your job, your life…Anyone who tells you otherwise, is wrong. 

Give back.  Give back to your family, you friends, and your community.  Strive to give more than you get.  You don’t realize this yet, but you are happiest when you are giving.

Earth Day Birthday painting with your Fave Friend circa 2006

Your ability to love and build relationships is one of your greatest gifts.  Keep your heart open, even in the face of difficulties.  Know that love is not about control, change or need.  Love is unconditional and it doesn’t come and go on your timeline.  Also know that those who truly love you will love you for who you are. They will not try and change you. They will embrace you.  Remember to love the way you want to be loved. Don’t expect anyone to change for you…love them how they are, or let them go.

Life is a crazy, fun, hard, unpredictable and amazing ride. Each day is a gift and not a given. You may feel old and unsure today, but in 10 years you will see just how young you were.  Don’t cave to the pressure of the predictable or the expected.  More than telling them, show those you love, your love. Actions far exceed the power of any words. Be honest, be kind, always take the high road and most of all, enjoy the ride.  You won’t get this time back, so enjoy it.  Don’t wish away and don’t wish you had…take chances and you’ll be happy to see where the road leads you. 

Life is short...have fun with it!

Since I have the luxury of writing this letter from the future, I know that, even without this advice, you will do great.  But if you listen to this advice it will help along the way.  And, in the present day of today, remember you will never be too old to listen, learn, try again and be happy. It’s your life….make it count!

xo~
Elizabeth

 

It's OK Thursday

Here we go!!! It's OK...

Not to write a blog for over 2 weeks and then write a really long one and a shorter one all in 2 days.  It's my blog and I'll blog when I want.

To wear white after Labor Day. OK maybe not white shoes, but frankly, unless you are Minnie Mouse, you shouldn't be wearing white shoes.  Ever.  White pants and skirts are totally fine until the leaves changes.

To get on the O's bandwagon.  If you are not on, get on.  This is some good stuff happening in Charm City.  Orioles Magic feel it happen!

To live a life of "oh wells" rather than "I wish I hads".

To spend $350 on a dress you absolutely love (and looks amazing) and you will truly wear to the 4 weddings you have to go to as the only single girl.  Buy some rocking shoes too!

To be overly kind to someone who is grumpy or call out (in a respectful way) a service employee who isn't treating you kindly.  We should all strive to give good service even if people annoy us and we should always be kind to one another.

To have a work boyf or work wife...sometimes you just need some perspective from another person who doesn't want to sleep with you and you don't want to sleep with them.

To wear orange and purple together. They are the new black and white in Baltimore this September.

To invite yourself over to your friend's house for wine, appetizers and girl time.  She probably needs it as much as you and the bestest girlfriends are so excited you took charge of making it happen.

To look out for you and make choices that make you happy or will lead to your happiness...even if they are hard and even if everyone does not agree.

To day dream about anything...winning the lottery, quitting your job, moving to the islands, being a mama, going to Vegas and/or marrying Mark Reynolds .  Just remember, you control much of your life...if your day dream becomes a real dream...take action.

P.S. ~ Anyone have Mark's cell #? I have a friend who'd like to meet him.  :-)

What's everyone else think on this glorious Thursday???

xo~
Elizabeth

Haters Not Allowed...Why you have to Love Football

Everyone who knows me knows that I love football.  I love almost everything about it.  I don’t understand how anyone can actually say they hate it.  But I do know there are those out there that do and this is for them. This is also for those who don’t love it like I do, those of you who may be on the fence and for those who already love it but may not have thought about it this way.

Side bar here ~ A few blogs ago I wrote about how I believe it is possible to die from a broken heart.  Just last week, the Ravens former owner, Art Modell passed away at the age of 87.  He had been in poor health for quite a while and he lost his beloved wife about 10 months ago.  Every day he was without her, he missed her. Listening to his family and friends remember him, they further supported my already whole-hearted knowledge that a broken heart can be one of the worst things ever. He is now with his love, together forever in love.

In reading and researching everything Mr. Modell did and accomplished in his life, I was astounded to learn of scope of his accomplishments and the depths of his love…love for his wife, for his family, for his job, for his friends he made family, for his cities (Cleveland and then Baltimore), for his employees, and most of all for the sport of football and the game beyond the game.

The purpose of this writing is not to recap everything Mr. did because you can do that on your own. And, you should because he literally changed the face of TV and football and changed the course of so many lives. Here is some help if you don’t want to type his name into Google.

http://www.baltimoreravens.com/search-results?q=Art+Modell  

The purpose is to help anyone understand that football is so much more than a game and it’s way beyond a Sunday afternoon pastime that involves drinking beer and crock pots. Don’t get me wrong, that’s what first got me loving it…socializing with friends (ummm, one of my most favorite things in the world) while drinking beers and eating delicious food, where do I sign??  But, football is so much more.

In 2011 our team...

• Did 300 community appearances
• Gave $1.1 million in grants
• Play 60 message was delivered to 900 schools http://www.nflrush.com/play60
• Supported 1,693 events with charitable donations
• Donated 300 pairs of high school cleats
• Donated 4,239 tickets to nonprofit organizations
• Built our third community playground with KaBOOM
• Supported 5 new (and as of 2012 support 15 students) with a 4 year scholarship to pursue higher education
• 17 players have individual foundations where they donate time and money
• Instead of holiday gifts to employees, John Harbaugh donated 150 boxes of goodies to soldiers on the front lines in Afghanistan

I could go on and on about the community involvement beyond the game but, in all honesty, we expect athletes and highly successful organization to give back to their communities.  We expect this, but not all athletes and not all organizations weave it into the culture of who they are.  Mr. Modell did. Steve Bisciotti does.  And, we do. For those reasons alone, you should not hate football.

Beyond community appearances, donations and doing the right thing, football is a community with a rich and storied history and culture. There is a common goal that is shared by the likes of everyone…old, young, rich, poor, sick, healthy, people of all colors, men and women.  Mr. Modell knew this in the 60’s. The obvious goal is to go to and win the Super Bowl. The amazingly hard goal of becoming World Champions. What may not be so obvious is that the road to that goal is busting with opportunity for anyone who wants to be involved in the journey. 

For most people, the journey begins in communities all over the country with little boys and girls playing and watching football.  Dads, uncles, and friends coach. Mom’s drive carpools, stand in freezing temperatures and pack snacks.  Sisters and brothers cheer on the sidelines.  Grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins come out to watch.  There are high fives and encouragement.  Players learn the value of good coaching, teamwork, winning and losing, hard work and friendship.  Dreams are launched. Character begins to establish. Can do attitudes are expected.  Boundaries are not seen. Impossible is more than possible. Families and friends gather together in support of each other.

In the high school, college and professional ranks, athletes and families continue on the journey. Many families have deep rooted traditions when it comes to the team and the games. They go to some games, they go to all games, or they watch them on TV while steaming shrimp.  Some have the same seats that have been in their families for years and years.  Some plan vacations and holidays around the games.   Some families take their babies to games as early as their first year so they know nothing but love for the team.  Some families create new traditions and pass them along to their kids. 

There are athletes who become closer to realizing their dreams of playing and others follow new paths and chase dreams while staying on the same journey.  There is common language and more involvement in the game. Communities come together in support of their local teams.  Fans wear their team’s colors and become instant friends with strangers who also wear those same colors.  Sports chat can be had with any fan of the game. Old and new friends gather and converse at water coolers to discuss the “big” games, new acquisitions and the bright stars on the team.

Economically, sports bring so many jobs for all kinds of different people…athletes, accountants, ushers, nurses, vendors of all kinds, hospitality, construction, grocers, musicians, technicians, sales and office folks, just to name a few. Cities with successful sports teams can draw fans from all over the country to visit, thus earning revenue for themselves, creating more jobs and opportunity for the locals and offering an exciting experience for visiting friends.

Most importantly, when in a city that loves their team (like Baltimore), family and friends gather.  GATHER TOGETHER. The importance of gathering should not be overlooked.  In this fast paced world of iPhones, technology, and rushing everywhere, the time for gathering is often short or brought on by a tragedy or death. It’s not often that something consistently brings diverse people together, united in a common goal.  United in a goal that is filled with excitement, opportunity, disappointment (at times), conversation, sharing, community, joy, giving, good spirit and fun. United in a goal that lives and breathes and can positively impact the lives of so many. 

Mr. Modell had a vision. He saw beyond the common cultural and economic barriers of his time and took a stand for something.  He knew the strength in diversity and he knew about the power of love. He gave back to his communities and helped create a culture so far beyond the game, it’s nearly inexplicable. He was wise beyond his years. He will always be remembered for his contributions.

If you want to be a part of something great, something that wins daily (both on and off the field), something that gives more than it likely gets, something that grows bigger with community involvement, giving, sharing, and diversity, something that can only get better with the support of a strong community…How can you not be a believer? How can you not love it?

If you don’t, I’m just not sure we can be friends.  J

xo~

Elizabeth