“Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.” I found that quote by Kobi Yamada, carved into a decorative stone at the General Store in Myrtle Beach in the summer of 2006. At the time, I was going through some major changes in my life and the poignant words grabbed me. Those words were appropriate then and they are appropriate now.
I bought the stone but very shortly after I got home, I gave it away to someone who needed it more than me. I called my mom immediately and asked her to go back to the General Store and get me another stone because, while the words would have stuck with me even without seeing the stone daily, I wanted to see and read the words daily. They are a pleasant (and sometimes necessary) reminder that I don’t always have to have it (my life, the answers, my plan, etc.) perfectly together at all times.
On Friday I took a chance and made my very private blog, pretty public. I had shared it with a few others prior to sharing it publically FB. The few I shared it with were not necessarily closer to me then some of you reading this entry now. But, when sharing something so personal, it can be harder to share such private thoughts with those closest to you. I got feedback from a few of those not so close peeps and then I shared it with a few of my closest friends. I wanted to get a few close friend’s opinions before BAM, putting it out there. I asked everyone to give me their honest opinions. So far all the feedback has been very awesome…so thank you very much. JI decided to take the chance and put my blog out there for all of cyber space to see. Not because I needed anyone’s approval, anyone’s praise or anyone to even read it. I put it out there because it’s what I needed and wanted to do for me. Often it’s hard for us to do things for ourselves. Those of you who are mamas can really understand this…you rarely, if ever do things, just for you. And, if you do, it’s likely you feel guilt about doing whatever it is you did for you, even if it’s exercising, showering or eating a complete warm meal. I felt that same completely unnecessary guilt.
I put my thoughts out there and then had this major, whoa moment. What if it’s too public? What if people hate it? What if people roll their eyes reading it? What if those I’m writing about don’t want to be written about? What if I’m not being mysterious enough? What if I have typos? (I hate typos.) What if I say something I want to take back 5 minutes after it’s posted? What if I accidently hurt someone’s feelings? What if, what if, what if????
After my whoa moment, I thought about who I am, why I write and my intentions for the blog. I thought about how I felt the first time I wrote…it wasn’t that I wanted to write it; it was more I had to write it. I literally stopped everything else I was doing to write that first entry. I thought about the public nature of this venture. And, I thought about why I wouldn’t do it or for what reasons I would take it back. And, you know what I came up with?? I’m writing this for me, my intentions are good...I want to share, laugh, connect, celebrate, sympathize, engage, honor, love, have fun and respect, I’m writing from my heart, I am who I am and I really don’t care who doesn’t like it. Those who don’t like it do not have to read it…hide me, delete me or ignore me. It’s ok…I’m not for everyone and that’s perfectly ok.
At the end of the day, I believe, we have to be true to who we are to truly be happy in this thing called life. We all know, the ride is short and no day is ever promised. Those who truly love you will support you. We have to take the time to honor ourselves, respect our desires and enjoy the ride. Sure there are risks, potential pitfalls or worse, there could be typos. We might make mistakes. We might receive criticism. Not everyone will agree. We might not get back what we put in. We might not feel 100% confident in every single decision. But we could what if forever and get no where. Being true to you isn’t always easy and it’s not always fair to everyone all the time. It can be hard, risky and scary.
But, we still have to take chances. Doing so may lead you right where you are supposed to go. You might get way more out then you put in. The risks could turn into numerous rewards. The possibilities could be limitless. The potential can far outweigh the what if's. And, I don't want to leave this world with a long list of, "I wish I hads" so, for me, that may mean taking the leap and building my wings on the way down.
Happy Reading!
xo~Elizabeth
