Taking Chances

“Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.”  I found that quote by Kobi Yamada, carved into a decorative stone at the General Store in Myrtle Beach in the summer of 2006.  At the time, I was going through some major changes in my life and the poignant words grabbed me. Those words were appropriate then and they are appropriate now.

I bought the stone but very shortly after I got home, I gave it away to someone who needed it more than me. I called my mom immediately and asked her to go back to the General Store and get me another stone because, while the words would have stuck with me even without seeing the stone daily, I wanted to see and read the words daily. They are a pleasant (and sometimes necessary) reminder that I don’t always have to have it (my life, the answers, my plan, etc.) perfectly together at all times.

On Friday I took a chance and made my very private blog, pretty public.  I had shared it with a few others prior to sharing it publically FB.  The few I shared it with were not necessarily closer to me then some of you reading this entry now.  But, when sharing something so personal, it can be harder to share such private thoughts with those closest to you. I got feedback from a few of those not so close peeps and then I shared it with a few of my closest friends. I wanted to get a few close friend’s opinions before BAM, putting it out there.  I asked everyone to give me their honest opinions.  So far all the feedback has been very awesome…so thank you very much. J

I decided to take the chance and put my blog out there for all of cyber space to see.  Not because I needed anyone’s approval, anyone’s praise or anyone to even read it.  I put it out there because it’s what I needed and wanted to do for me.  Often it’s hard for us to do things for ourselves.  Those of you who are mamas can really understand this…you rarely, if ever do things, just for you. And, if you do, it’s likely you feel guilt about doing whatever it is you did for you, even if it’s exercising, showering or eating a complete warm meal.  I felt that same completely unnecessary guilt.

I put my thoughts out there and then had this major, whoa moment.  What if it’s too public? What if people hate it? What if people roll their eyes reading it?  What if those I’m writing about don’t want to be written about?  What if I’m not being mysterious enough?  What if I have typos?  (I hate typos.) What if I say something I want to take back 5 minutes after it’s posted?  What if I accidently hurt someone’s feelings? What if, what if, what if????

After my whoa moment, I thought about who I am, why I write and my intentions for the blog. I thought about how I felt the first time I wrote…it wasn’t that I wanted to write it; it was more I had to write it.  I literally stopped everything else I was doing to write that first entry.  I thought about the public nature of this venture.  And, I thought about why I wouldn’t do it or for what reasons I would take it back.  And, you know what I came up with?? I’m writing this for me, my intentions are good...I want to share, laugh, connect, celebrate, sympathize, engage, honor, love, have fun and respect, I’m writing from my heart, I am who I am and I really don’t care who doesn’t like it. Those who don’t like it do not have to read it…hide me, delete me or ignore me. It’s ok…I’m not for everyone and that’s perfectly ok.

At the end of the day, I believe, we have to be true to who we are to truly be happy in this thing called life.  We all know, the ride is short and no day is ever promised.  Those who truly love you will support you.  We have to take the time to honor ourselves, respect our desires and enjoy the ride. Sure there are risks, potential pitfalls or worse, there could be typos.  We might make mistakes. We might receive criticism.  Not everyone will agree. We might not get back what we put in. We might not feel 100% confident in every single decision. But we could what if forever and get no where.  Being true to you isn’t always easy and it’s not always fair to everyone all the time.  It can be hard, risky and scary.

But, we still have to take chances.  Doing so may lead you right where you are supposed to go.  You might get way more out then you put in.  The risks could turn into numerous rewards.  The possibilities could be limitless.  The potential can far outweigh the what if's. And, I don't want to leave this world with a long list of, "I wish I hads" so, for me, that may mean taking the leap and building my wings on the way down. 

Happy Reading!

xo~Elizabeth

10+ Joys of Dad Visiting

My Dad comes to Maryland every now and then to visit and help my sister and me with home projects.  He and my mom retired to Myrtle Beach (home of the newlywed and nearly dead) about 10 years ago.  He loves golf and she “hates every flake that falls” and is working in a doctor’s office (she always wanted to be a nurse), so it’s a perfect place for them.  We see them for most holidays and they come to visit fairly regularly to see us or more accurately to see my most fantastic nieces.

Since I am not married and I’m completely uninterested in doing my own home improvements (don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if I applied myself, I could do them but I really hate Home Depot and let’s just say my affinity for tools other than those of the hair-styling or make-up application variety, is, well, less than admirable) he comes to stay with me and help me with handyman types of projects.

He’s been here since last week and he came with a mission.  At Christmas, he came to the house to survey the land…aka, take down the list of “Daddy-do’s” and compile his own list of tools and supplies to bring back to complete said list.  Upon his arrival, I was quickly reminded of the joys of having him…

1.   He cooks us delicious dinners and it's ready whatever time we get home from work, 5pm, 8pm, 11:30pm or 7:30am. 

2.   He painted my bedroom in a matter of hours and I didn’t have to step my toe into Home Depot. Awesome. 

3.   He custom built an under the sink cabinet for my bathroom for all my girl bathroom stuff. 

4.   He knows how to hang anything on any kind of wall, neatly, on the first attempt, and it's straight. 

5.   He cleans up after all of us…me, him, Sara and the dog. 

6.   He walks the dog, plays with dog, talks to the dog and now she sleeps with him instead of me. 

7.   I'm not nearly as scared watching crime-based TV when he is there (and there is A LOT of it). 

8.   He's about as low maintenance as it gets...he's happy with store-brand root beer, hot dogs, my mom's Nook for NetFlicks and HD TV. 

9.   He shares my love of spicy foods, cheese on anything, seafood and sweets. 

10.  He senses when to talk and ask questions and when to hold his questions for  another time...girls you know what I'm talking about. 

11. I can't remember many other times (like when he worked 14 hours a day or I wanted him to drop me off at the back door of the mall so my friends didn't see us together) when we could just hang out...no pressure, no rushing, just hanging out and spending time together.

I asked him how long he planned to stay and his response was, “I’ll stay as long as your mother lets me.” It’s likely because he can do most things at my house on his own time and in his own way. He’s retired and he likes to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it.  I can’t wait for retirement, btw. I don’t remind (or nag) him to take his medicine (don’t worry Mama, he takes it every day), the food in MD is amazing (Old Bay is hard to find in MB) and he’s hanging out with us girls. Just as I have 10+ joys of having him, I suspect he has joys when it comes to hanging out with us.

I also suspect that my mom knows all of the above mentioned joys (very well) and that's why she wants him back.  Hang in there Mama…he’ll be back, but not before Tuesday as we have some sweet tickets to the O’s/Yanks game next week. Oh and that’s yet another reason he’s great…he’s an avid in sports fan like me (heck it’s just he and I that even watch sports in our family) that is up for any game anywhere anytime. And, at the Yard, they have all of his faves...they even have hotdogs topped with crab mac and cheese, otherwise referred to as Hotdog Heaven.  On second thought, he just may stay a while longer.

Love him!

It’s Mother’s Day weekend, and let’s face it girls, there wouldn’t be Mama’s without Dads.  I’m very blessed and thankful to have both.

Happy Mother’s Day!

xoxo ~ Elizabeth