Bringing a Happy Spirit to New and Different Things

Happy spirit and fun!

2013 has been amazing so far.  We won the Super Bowl (still not tired of saying it).  I'm not sure I will ever get tired of saying it. And, as time goes on, when reflecting on the experience, it gets better and better.  The feeling of teamwork, togetherness, family and becoming a champion brings a smile to my face daily.

Since that time, work has been insanely busy.  Most companies have all year to run their HR programs.  Boring I know, but bare with me...most companies have HR projects annually, compensation increases, performance reviews, hiring/recruiting, organization alignment, benefits open enrollment, etc.  They have 12 months to spread these projects out.  I have just about 5.  Thanks to the Super Bowl, these projects were on hold.  I'm certainly not complaining.  But they still need to be done by July when football starts again.  So, I'm busy at work. It's great to be needed too.

Personally and probably what more of this post is supposed to be about, I've had a goal for 2013 to try new and different things.  In doing so, some of those new and different things well, didn't exactly go the way we would have wanted new and different things to go.  But in the fantabulous twists and turns of life, they make for excellent stories and have given me a few laughs along the way.

2013 New and Different Things Bloopers and Lessons:

Blooper

One Saturday afternoon, we decided to meet a friend at the Inner Harbor and do some day drinking.  It was a nice day, so we arrived early to have a drink at one of our favorite Irish establishments.  Bestie and I sit at the back bar to enjoy our Guinness, NCAA basketball and the view of the Harbor.  We are there for 10 minutes and in walks...

Per our new zombie friends, some make-up application took over 2 hours.  Talk about high maintenance!!

 



Yep, that's right...a HUGE group of zombies came in and took over our Irish pub.  They were out and about on a Zombie Pub Crawl.  I do love a good pub crawl, but zombies?  Pub crawling?  It's true.  Now you know.  And, certainly we were not out trolling for dudes, but the idea of running into some like-minded fellow bball lovers and sharing a pint wasn't totally out of the realm of possibility, or so we thought. Turns out, not so much.  

Truly and to be perfectly honest, the zombies were very friendly. They even encouraged us to join their zombie pack next year. 

Tempting...but no.

Lesson

Exes are exes for a reason. We all know that. Historically, I've been pretty good at keeping a good relationship with my exes. They are good people and just because it didn't work out for us, doesn't mean we don't care about each other. It also doesn't mean that we can't be there for each other in times of need in friendship.  Being a good friend is important.

My philosophy and practice of being nice and friendly is currently under review. Let's just say that when you remain friends with people (an ex or just a plain ole "friend") who clearly are not making good choices, it's not a good idea. Many times you can't save them and you are only bringing yourself down in trying to do so.  A friend I'll always be...an idiot, no thanks.  We all control our own happiness and control our choices.  If someone chooses to stay in a life of unhappiness, constant arguments and unhealthy craziness, I can't help them. They have to help themselves.  Last but certainly not least, this girl will never be a participant on an episode Jerry Springer. Yes, I'm saying never.

Blooper & Lesson

Many of you know, I'm somewhat of a fashionista.  I like fashion and clothes and style. I can be this way because I'm only responsible for myself and my fashionista dog. I also realize that not everyone is as fashion forward as I am. It's not a crime...or is it?  Any who, I went out last week with a swell dude.  He took me to dinner at nice restaurant.  In my fashion conscious mind, I wondered what I would wear for the days leading up to the dinner.  I decided on a casual dress and sassy peep toe heels.  I asked him (a question I'm sure every man hates as much as does this make me look fat?) what he was going to wear and he said jeans and a button down. Cool...we were on the same page...

Except that his jeans while neat and clean...were carpenter jeans. This begs the questions...do they still make those? Or are those his original circa 1998 Gap carpenter jeans? If so, how on earth has he kept them this long? Does he never shop? And, is he perhaps, an actual carpenter on the side?

We had a lovely time and enjoyed dinner and the O's game...but the jeans have not left my memory.  He didn't eat his peas one at a time, he's not a close talker and his hands are perfectly appropriate for his body. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV8pNfeAGVc  And, in talking with a friend a lunch on Tuesday, jeans can be changed - easily.  Why am I so jeans snobby???  Get over it...it's what's in the jeans that matters (and don't go there...we have gone no where near there).  Plus I'm a Buckle Black Member, if there is another outing, a stop at the mall is likely in order.

Lesson

O's Opening Day ~ The Monday before the game 100% chance of rain.  The day of the game 0% chance of rain, 65 degrees and sunny. Amazing day!
Lesson- don't trust the weather. Ever.


One of the best days of the year in Charm City.
See also: A day of photo bombs



We bring the fun and grand slams.

 

But that's not the lesson from this day...a friend and I were walking along the concourse.  A random dude stops us and starts chatting.  He wasn't wearing zombie make-up or carpenter jeans, so I gave him a chance.  We chatted a bit and he asks our names (those of you who really know me know what I said) and he asks what we are doing later. We really have no idea and we tell him such.  He asks for my phone number and for whatever random reason, I give it to him.  I don't think about him the rest of the day and never expect to hear from him again.

He texts me a few days later. I respond.  He responds.  I respond again.  He asks me to get drinks.  I say OK. I have nothing to lose. I really don't even remember what he looks like. We meet for drinks...at a place where I know people and he can't dismember me in a basement.  He admits that he really didn't remember what I looked like either.  We shared a few drinks. I told him my real name and my real job.  He did the same.  He likes sports and country music.  I like sports and country music.  He had on good jeans and he mentioned he was wearing them because he knows girls like good jeans on guys.  It's then I realize, we can be friends.  We had a fun time.  Not sure I'll ever see him again, but it was new and different and it wasn't awful.  #it'sabouttime

Lesson: you never know, you never know.

My Meeting Randoms Partner in Crime

Love

One of my dear friends is deploying for the 3rd time to Afghanistan.  He's a stud, a warrior, a ninja, an amazing friend and an all around super cool good person. His sister had a beautiful baby this week too, so now he adds best uncle ever to the list great things he is.  He will be meeting his beautiful niece next weekend and leaving soon after.  I expect to get lots of pictures!!!  I wanted to include a message of love and thank you to him in this post. We all will be anxiously awaiting his return (he's promised to take me to THB when he gets back and I'm holding him to it) and I'm hopeful he can communicate while over there.  Be safe my friend. Love you tons!!  Hurry home!! Thank you for protecting us!

Have a great weekend everyone! Thanks for reading about my soap opera life...I still have hopes of making it  onto GH. P.S. Anyone watching the 50th anniversary episodes, reruns and the Nurses Ball?  LOVE!

xo~

Groundhog Day. My least favorite day...

Not an attractive animal.

Groundhog Day is in February. Cold and dark February. A Groundhog is not an attractive animal. And, I feel like I've been living Groundhog Day...for like years.  It's on a loop where the distance between days varies, but it still comes back to square one. Unsettled.  Looking at a move.  Going some distance alone.

I sincerely believe that everything will work out and this is where I am supposed to be.  I beyond blessed with an amazing family, wonderful friends, a great job, and most of all my health. I'm happy and I try to live life to the fullest.

But it's other stuff...you know a long-term living situation and a life partner that are way up in the air. So far up in the air I can't really see them.

I wrote last week about moving on after love and finding my path again. This week, my walk begins.  But before I start moving forward, I'm examining how I got here so I can be sure not to be here again. I don't like this stop on my path of life.

I know full well my responsibility in the failure of my last relationship. Relationships take two people, so he had responsibility too. But since this is my story to tell, I won't write about his responsibilities. I'll just say he loved me.  Loved me a lot.

I didn't commit 100% at the right time. I was committed but not in the way where he felt it.  Not in the way he needed.  I own that responsibility and I'm learning from it. The ironic (I think it's irony...I always get irony confused with coincidence) thing is that my failure to commit stemmed from being scared of being back in the very position where I stand today.  Groundhog Day. (Notice I stay stand...not lay on the floor in crumpled ball...it's the little things readers.)  So while I was busy being scared and having doubts, he was trying to get through to me.  And, at some point even the most patient and loving person has to move on.  I get it.

You know why I get it?? It's because 3 years ago I was in the exact spot with the one before him.  I knew. He didn't. He wanted to get there. I couldn't keep waiting. Groundhog Day.

And 3 years before that I was in a life that I helped build with a house full of stuff, a 30-year mortgage, a fancy car and a man that would never leave. Trouble was that man didn't love me for me.  He loved me in his way. A way that I've now come to realize wasn't really love.  So, I couldn't stay.

So now, after 3 relationships full of love, and trust me, they were not short on that beautiful and deadly thing called love, I'm back to standing on my own. Groundhog Day. I know I can do it. I've done it before. I'll do it this time.  I'm just getting a little of tired of it.

The good thing about Groundhog Day is that for the first time, I know what I want, why I made many of the choices I made and how those choices are bringing me clarity now. I'm grateful for the clarity. I wish it would have come about 2 weeks earlier.

I can't wish away or wish I had.  Some of it, I have to toss up to fate and love. One Love finds a way. Always. No matter what. Now the action is to live and keep going. Groundhog Day. I do feel better knowing what I know now.  The knowledge will help me get where I'm supposed to be.

In the meantime and to lighten the mood of this post, if anyone wants to help out...here are a few options:

1. Start shopping and spending time and money in Owings Mills (they are getting a Wegmans ~ everybody loves Wegmans, right???) and turn the housing market around so I can get rid of that house I so unfortunately thought was a good idea to buy.
2. Better yet, anyone want to buy a really cozy townhouse in Owings Mills?
3. Anyone need a place to crash for 6 months?  Room for rent in my city pad.  My roomie leaves on January 2 to follow her dreams.  It's a super great location and (besides my craziness) I'm a good roommate. Plus I have Roxy, she makes everything better.
4. I'm probably going to have a lot of free time. Free time left to my own choices usually results in more shoes which, while great for my style, is not good for my budget: see housing situation above. Anyone interested in doing anything fun, I'm your girl.
5. I'm accepting all jokes and reasons to smile that don't involve babies, puppies, houses or boys. All girltime is accepted and welcome.

Birthday with Besties 2010

Girls Cruise circa 2008. Must do this again!

 The walk begins...one graceful step at a time...

xo ~

Getting over “It’.

If only it were that easy....

Get over it! You’ve heard that command a thousand times, right?  But riddle me this…How does one get over love? That is the question.  Is it possible to leave love behind or does it have to leave you behind?  When do you take the good things with you and leave the bad behind?  Do you just wake up one day knowing you were not meant to be with the person you spent time planning on being meant to be? If that is the case, how long does that take?

Many of us have been there…the fetal position in tears on the floor after you and your boyf, girlf, or love of your life has left. Regardless of the reason for the break-up, the next few days, weeks or sometimes years are a blur. You are a ball of sadness, depression, tears, darkness and questions.  Why didn’t this one work out?  What could I have done differently? What didn’t I see in the moment that I can now see looking back?  What did this Mr. Right have that I can’t live without in my next Mr. Right? And, do you ever really get over real love? Are the ones you get over, impostures of love?

Growing up as a girl we watched our favorite princesses’ ride off into the sunset with their prince.  They met them and knew instantly they were their One Love.  They lived happily ever after.  As an adult, I can’t even fathom what happily ever after means.  I see many of my married friends live long happy lives with their husbands and families, but it is certainly not easy.  For the single girls we are searching for our One Love.  We are looking for the one we can ride off into the sunset with. We may have found one or two along the way who we thought were our One Loves, but for whatever reason it doesn’t work out.

Love is gooey, fun, happy, contagious, amazing, beautiful, addicting, blissful and uncontrollable.  You can feel when you are in the presence of true love.  It warms you on the inside.  When you truly love someone, you want them to be happy and you want that more than you care about your own personal happiness.  You put someone else’s needs ahead of your own needs.  You want to do right by the one you love and loving someone else makes an individual a better person. 

I can control many things…my whereabouts, the company I keep, the amount of times I stop at Starbucks weekly, the places I go for fun, the situations I put myself in and my sleep number, if I had a sleep number.  Happiness can be built.  I know that’s a fact because I’ve built it.

But I can’t control love.  I can’t control its arrival or its departure. It grows or fades out of our experiences and interactions. I don’t believe that the goo you feel for another can be forced, contrived or faked. It can be there one day and gone the next…with little or plenty of warning.  And even if you think you love someone, it might not be magical enough to go the distance.

I don’t know that love is ever “gotten over”.  You can get over the sadness and heartbreak but there certainly is no HOV lane to Overitville. You have to drive a beatass Pinto, in the slow lane, in rush hour traffic, through DC, before you feel better. You start by getting off the floor, showering, and get dressed.  You put one foot in front of the other and you begin again.  Eventually, your heart beings to heal.  The sadness passes.  The memories fade.  You build new happiness and your life keeps moving.  That’s the way it is.  Part of that love though, will always be with you. You are the person you are because of that love. 

I also know that the One Love never quits, leaves, walks away or fails. It stays, even if it’s hard.

So while it might be painfully hard to move on, I have to believe that if he or she is your One Love, they will be.  Take your love for them with you and start again.   Letting go of anyone you care for is one of life’s hardest things to do. It’s especially hard if he had One Love potential.  But know that One Love may not come in the time or package we want it to come, but when the time and the person are right, One Love will come.  You both will know it.

If you really love one who could be your One Love, love him more than yourself and give him what he needs. In time, the answer will reveal itself.  And, it will be the right answer for both of you.

In the meantime, trust your gut, feel sad and unsure.  Look for the positives and the learning.  Shower, get dressed, workout, call your girlfriends and listen to Adele on repeat. Analyze your behaviors; remember what makes you happy and count the many blessings you still have without him. What's meant to be will be.  You are strong. You are fierce. You are beautiful. You will be ok.  You will get through it.

That’s what I keep telling myself.

xo~