Bringing a Happy Spirit to New and Different Things

Happy spirit and fun!

2013 has been amazing so far.  We won the Super Bowl (still not tired of saying it).  I'm not sure I will ever get tired of saying it. And, as time goes on, when reflecting on the experience, it gets better and better.  The feeling of teamwork, togetherness, family and becoming a champion brings a smile to my face daily.

Since that time, work has been insanely busy.  Most companies have all year to run their HR programs.  Boring I know, but bare with me...most companies have HR projects annually, compensation increases, performance reviews, hiring/recruiting, organization alignment, benefits open enrollment, etc.  They have 12 months to spread these projects out.  I have just about 5.  Thanks to the Super Bowl, these projects were on hold.  I'm certainly not complaining.  But they still need to be done by July when football starts again.  So, I'm busy at work. It's great to be needed too.

Personally and probably what more of this post is supposed to be about, I've had a goal for 2013 to try new and different things.  In doing so, some of those new and different things well, didn't exactly go the way we would have wanted new and different things to go.  But in the fantabulous twists and turns of life, they make for excellent stories and have given me a few laughs along the way.

2013 New and Different Things Bloopers and Lessons:

Blooper

One Saturday afternoon, we decided to meet a friend at the Inner Harbor and do some day drinking.  It was a nice day, so we arrived early to have a drink at one of our favorite Irish establishments.  Bestie and I sit at the back bar to enjoy our Guinness, NCAA basketball and the view of the Harbor.  We are there for 10 minutes and in walks...

Per our new zombie friends, some make-up application took over 2 hours.  Talk about high maintenance!!

 



Yep, that's right...a HUGE group of zombies came in and took over our Irish pub.  They were out and about on a Zombie Pub Crawl.  I do love a good pub crawl, but zombies?  Pub crawling?  It's true.  Now you know.  And, certainly we were not out trolling for dudes, but the idea of running into some like-minded fellow bball lovers and sharing a pint wasn't totally out of the realm of possibility, or so we thought. Turns out, not so much.  

Truly and to be perfectly honest, the zombies were very friendly. They even encouraged us to join their zombie pack next year. 

Tempting...but no.

Lesson

Exes are exes for a reason. We all know that. Historically, I've been pretty good at keeping a good relationship with my exes. They are good people and just because it didn't work out for us, doesn't mean we don't care about each other. It also doesn't mean that we can't be there for each other in times of need in friendship.  Being a good friend is important.

My philosophy and practice of being nice and friendly is currently under review. Let's just say that when you remain friends with people (an ex or just a plain ole "friend") who clearly are not making good choices, it's not a good idea. Many times you can't save them and you are only bringing yourself down in trying to do so.  A friend I'll always be...an idiot, no thanks.  We all control our own happiness and control our choices.  If someone chooses to stay in a life of unhappiness, constant arguments and unhealthy craziness, I can't help them. They have to help themselves.  Last but certainly not least, this girl will never be a participant on an episode Jerry Springer. Yes, I'm saying never.

Blooper & Lesson

Many of you know, I'm somewhat of a fashionista.  I like fashion and clothes and style. I can be this way because I'm only responsible for myself and my fashionista dog. I also realize that not everyone is as fashion forward as I am. It's not a crime...or is it?  Any who, I went out last week with a swell dude.  He took me to dinner at nice restaurant.  In my fashion conscious mind, I wondered what I would wear for the days leading up to the dinner.  I decided on a casual dress and sassy peep toe heels.  I asked him (a question I'm sure every man hates as much as does this make me look fat?) what he was going to wear and he said jeans and a button down. Cool...we were on the same page...

Except that his jeans while neat and clean...were carpenter jeans. This begs the questions...do they still make those? Or are those his original circa 1998 Gap carpenter jeans? If so, how on earth has he kept them this long? Does he never shop? And, is he perhaps, an actual carpenter on the side?

We had a lovely time and enjoyed dinner and the O's game...but the jeans have not left my memory.  He didn't eat his peas one at a time, he's not a close talker and his hands are perfectly appropriate for his body. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV8pNfeAGVc  And, in talking with a friend a lunch on Tuesday, jeans can be changed - easily.  Why am I so jeans snobby???  Get over it...it's what's in the jeans that matters (and don't go there...we have gone no where near there).  Plus I'm a Buckle Black Member, if there is another outing, a stop at the mall is likely in order.

Lesson

O's Opening Day ~ The Monday before the game 100% chance of rain.  The day of the game 0% chance of rain, 65 degrees and sunny. Amazing day!
Lesson- don't trust the weather. Ever.


One of the best days of the year in Charm City.
See also: A day of photo bombs



We bring the fun and grand slams.

 

But that's not the lesson from this day...a friend and I were walking along the concourse.  A random dude stops us and starts chatting.  He wasn't wearing zombie make-up or carpenter jeans, so I gave him a chance.  We chatted a bit and he asks our names (those of you who really know me know what I said) and he asks what we are doing later. We really have no idea and we tell him such.  He asks for my phone number and for whatever random reason, I give it to him.  I don't think about him the rest of the day and never expect to hear from him again.

He texts me a few days later. I respond.  He responds.  I respond again.  He asks me to get drinks.  I say OK. I have nothing to lose. I really don't even remember what he looks like. We meet for drinks...at a place where I know people and he can't dismember me in a basement.  He admits that he really didn't remember what I looked like either.  We shared a few drinks. I told him my real name and my real job.  He did the same.  He likes sports and country music.  I like sports and country music.  He had on good jeans and he mentioned he was wearing them because he knows girls like good jeans on guys.  It's then I realize, we can be friends.  We had a fun time.  Not sure I'll ever see him again, but it was new and different and it wasn't awful.  #it'sabouttime

Lesson: you never know, you never know.

My Meeting Randoms Partner in Crime

Love

One of my dear friends is deploying for the 3rd time to Afghanistan.  He's a stud, a warrior, a ninja, an amazing friend and an all around super cool good person. His sister had a beautiful baby this week too, so now he adds best uncle ever to the list great things he is.  He will be meeting his beautiful niece next weekend and leaving soon after.  I expect to get lots of pictures!!!  I wanted to include a message of love and thank you to him in this post. We all will be anxiously awaiting his return (he's promised to take me to THB when he gets back and I'm holding him to it) and I'm hopeful he can communicate while over there.  Be safe my friend. Love you tons!!  Hurry home!! Thank you for protecting us!

Have a great weekend everyone! Thanks for reading about my soap opera life...I still have hopes of making it  onto GH. P.S. Anyone watching the 50th anniversary episodes, reruns and the Nurses Ball?  LOVE!

xo~

Blessing the Broken Road and Hurry Up Already

I'm sure many readers are familiar with the song God Bless the Broken Road. It's been done by many artists, my favorite being the Rascal Flatts version, because I love country music.   If you live under a rock and you are not familiar or if you just want to see it again as I did looking for this clip, check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do32g82qilk

It's a great song with some uplifting inspiration provided by a person who has truly found the one.  The broken road led them to find each other and it is all worth it in the end.  Isn't that just ducky?

I am an eternal optimist who believes that we are where we are because we are supposed to be there.  I do believe we also play an active role in getting there, but I really think we find our paths when we are supposed to find them. Challenges come and go and love (for anything, a partner, a job, a house, a location) may not come when we want it, but it's all meant to be this way.  And, it may not always be pretty.

The broken road can be a hard one...it certainly doesn't look the same for everyone and it can be longer for some than others.  It can be smooth for a long time and then become bumpy again.  It doesn't always end as nicely as the song indicates it will...you know the happily ever after, forever and ever amen part?  Not exactly the way always life works.

Over the last few weeks me and a few friends have encountered some bumps in our roads.  Certainly not horrible life events (we are all healthy and have great things in our lives), but just bumps. Break-ups, almost breaking-up, job changes, work issues, life challenges, etc.

The broken road usually works out to be a blessing in disguise, but I can't help but wonder why it won't hurry up already?? When do we get to the part where we want to dance in the rain and shout from the mountain tops? When do the hills come alive with sound of music? When does the happily ever after really happen? Who are those people in that song and where are they now?  They should have a Behind the Broken Road TV show.  (Note to self, to do: develop screen play for VH1.)

I find myself asking those questions and when I start really thinking about them, the answer I come up with is the same.  It will happen when it is supposed to happen.  It will be worth the wait and better than anything we have ever even thought was great.  It may not be when I want it to be or how I want it to be.  But it will happen and when it does, we will know it...without any doubts or hesitations.  We will feel it.  "It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true."

In the meantime, we must actively contribute to making it happen and put ourselves in  positions where it can happen.  We are the biggest contributors to our own happiness and we have a lot of control over it.  We can make choices that help us navigate the broken road. We can also enlist the support of friends and family to hold our hands, encourage and lift our spirits, listen to our tales of woe and give us space to find our way. 

Still, I do wonder what the heck is taking so long. I'm not patient. Neither are my friends.  Can we just be there already?

xo~
Elizabeth

Can you really die of a broken heart?

What a question, right?  Some people would say no, you cannot actually die of a broken heart.  Others would say you absolutely can. Technically people die from broken hearts all the time…probably daily.  Biologically speaking of course you can surely die from a broken heart. Hearts break. They are fragile and not easy to repair.

In this case, I’m not writing about technically dying of a broken heart because we know that is true.  It can and does happen. This is a grander, more thought provoking; can one die of a broken heart question? 

My grandparents recently passed away.  My mom mom died in December 2011 and my pop died about 2 weeks ago. They were married for 62 years.  62 YEARS…I can’t even imagine.  That’s a long a$$ time. Now, don’t misunderstand, everything wasn’t perfect, they argued, and drove each other nuts, at times.  Many times they were not that sweet old couple who most of us picture sitting on a park bench together.  Growing old wasn’t easy on either of them.  It was challenging and they needed help to make it to the end.  But, they stuck it out together and, no matter what, at the end of each day, it was each other who they always wanted to be with.  They had the goo.

He was forever bickering at her for forgetting things and she was forever bickering at him for bickering with her. He could be grumpy and he was the man of the house.  She cooked and cleaned and kept an amazing house.  She fed the birds, had a million house plants and she regularly shampooed the carpets, the curtains and the lawn. Yes you read that correctly, she shampooed the lawn.  She was a great wife.  He loved working outside in the yard, he planted millions of flowers, he decorated like nobody could for Christmas and he enjoyed everything about baseball.  We aren’t quite sure who was more stubborn, him or her. They had one son who they both adored. They threw an annual holiday bash that I hear was super fun in its hay day and they had plastic covers on their couches. She was a strong woman well ahead of her time in many ways.  He was a hard working southern man who liked things a certain way; his way. They were opposites and they genuinely loved each other.

It worked for them that way for 62 years.  She lived her final days in their house and she died surround by his love.  His health had been in steady decline since December and for the last 8 months of his life he lived alone in a house full of memories of her. 

She died of complications from several illnesses of “old age.”  Technically, he died of complications from fluid on his lungs.

I know many readers have had broken hearts.  Sadly, most people have sustained some sort of heart-breaking loss.  Broken hearts where you don’t think you will get through. Broken hearts that cause you to be paralyzed in a world of darkness where you can’t see a future. Broken hearts that bring you tears for years after the loss.  Broken hearts where you lose a piece of yourself that you think you’ll never get back. Broken hearts where a piece of your heart goes with that lost person and is forever gone.  It’s a sad aspect of this thing called life.

On the bright side, most of us do not physically die from these broken hearts.  And, even more important is that most of our hearts begin to heal with time. We are resilient and strong and we press on. While a piece of us may be left behind with our broken heart, most times we can look back and remember the joy before the pain of the loss. We can feel love in our heart and we can be happy again.  Love for the lost person or love for a new person can mend and refill our broken heart and at the same time, never let us forget.  Love is the glue that holds us together when everything else deserts us and love has the beautiful grace to save us.

But there are occasions, where after 62 years of faithful partnership and love, the heart may never quite heal the way it should. Where his partner was an integral part of his connection to this world and he knew he lived a full, happy and complete life.  His body was weak from old age, his health was failing, he could no longer do the things he loved to do and he was tired. I think this was when one loving husband knew it was time to let go and be with his exquisite wife in peace forever.   

So, yes I do believe you can die from a broken heart and in this case, it was in the most beautiful, peaceful, blessed and loving way.

1990 ~ Enjoying my parents wedding

Rest in peace mom mom and pop. Enjoy heaven’s garden together forever. I'm certain the flowers will be immaculate and you both will be smiling. And, we know that all the birdies (and squirrels) will be stuffed full and singing for you daily.

xo ~

Miss Elizabeth

Back from Vacation...Baby

I'm back from my absolutely fantabulous summer vacation and it's hotter here than near the equator.  Yikes!

I was gone for over 3 weeks and it was amazing.  It was a lovely break and it had everything I could have possibly asked for...love, family, white sand beaches, crystal clear blue ocean, yummy food, dance parties, a dreaded but turned out to be more than acceptable road trip, fresh mountain air, a step back into a simpler time and one absolutely perfect baby boy.

The first part of my vacation has become an annual tradition thanks to my most generous sister and brother-in-law.  We spent 16 glorious days sailing in the Caribbean.  We went to Tortola, St. John, St Croix, Cooper Island, Buck Island, Cinnamon Bay, Virgin Gorda, Jost Van Dyke, Marina Cay, Scrub Island and back to Tortola.  This vacation is so hard to describe but I will...just not in this post.

The week of July 4th, we spent in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, "The Oldest Summer Resort in America".  The population in this town is about 6000.  My boyf and his family probably know 5999 of the 6000 people living there. It's a small, one (blinking) traffic light town where everyone knows everyone and everyone and I mean everyone, goes to the annual July 4th parade...dressed in July 4th apparel.  It's a surreal and fantastic experience.

Most importantly on this trip, we met the newest member of the family while in Wolfey. Born in March, my boyf's nephew, AKA "Baby Kitty", was personally introduced to us at 3 months old.  And, he is nothing short of fabulous.  We spent the week with him where we were blessed to be able to help take care of him.  He won't remember this time in his life or the experience of us taking care of him and we will never forget.

Baby Kitty's mama is doing big things and going big places.  For a portion of the summer, she was in training to become some kind of brilliant environmental safety something-really-smart manager. So for 4 weeks, she had to leave Baby Kitty in the care of his extended family...his grandparents, his uncle, his great aunt, a couple of super cousins and, for one week, us.  Thanks to Skype, mama and Baby Kitty could see each other daily.  But, even with the daily phone calls, I know it was extremely hard for her to be away from him...she couldn't touch him, smell him, or hug and kiss him daily. She's one strong mama in so many ways. I admire her strength and determination.

Thankfully, she is also extremely generous and she let us fill in for her for a week.  Meme (Baby Kitty's Mama's Mom) also shared him with us...which, frankly is not easy to do. I didn't like sharing him at all.  In fact, I was a Baby Kitty hog.  He's hard to share for many reasons. The biggest being that he is, simply put, the best baby on the planet.  I thought my most precious nieces were the best babies on the planet but Baby Kitty gives them a run for the title. 

The child NEVER cries.  NEVER.  And I mean NEVER.  He's on a schedule, but he can be flexible. He smiles all the time.  He chows down every bottle.  He goes night-night, easily.  He sleeps through the night...for nearly 12 hours.  He snuggles.  He loves playing. He loves the water.  He loves dogs. He tells the best baby babbling stories. And, he really loves football games.  Side note, we played football everyday and he particularly likes the plays were Ray Rice breaks a tackle and runs the ball 52 yards for a TD. And he goes nuts when Ed Reed intercepts Tom Brady and takes it to the house.  The kid's awesome...what else can I say?

Anyone who knows me knows that, in general, I like babies.  They are adorable and snugly and fun and most of the time, they like me too.  I'm not nervous around them and they don't scare me.  However, I've never been one to have "Baby Fever".  I've never been the type of woman who just knows she was born to be a mama.  I've pretty much always known I want to be a mama, but I've never had the burning desire, ticking clock or Mother Earth feeling.  However, I've always assumed and still do assume that I will be a mama.

Thanks to my visit with Baby Kitty a few things that I intrinsically knew became even more crystal clear.

1. I would babynap Baby Kitty (and I actually considered this) in a heartbeat.  I really missed him when we left.  I find myself wondering what he's doing and where he's going, and what milestones he crossing. 
2. I have 100% confirmation that I don't need to actually birth a baby to be a mama.  Baby Kitty or a black baby boy would fit just as nicely in my life as my very own birthed baby.
3. Mothers are amazingly strong women. They are fierce.
4. Something happens to mamas when they become grandmamas. There is a certain sense of confidence and ease that grandmamas have that cannot be truly explained, it's only felt and very much NEEDED by new mamas.
5. Lastly, and most profoundly, many times the unexpected things in life become the things you need the most.  You didn't know they were missing but, once found or received, you cannot live without them. They make you stronger, better, happier. They push you beyond what you perceive your limits to be and they give you things you couldn't even imagine having, and now, you cannot imagine living without.  Many people call these things unanswered prayers or blessings or even karma. I call him perfection.

Thank you to Baby Kitty (and his family) for sharing your life with me.   This time in your life is precious and so short.  You will grow up so quickly.  You will bring joy to everyone who loves you for years and years to come. The time spent with you as a little baby will always and forever be cherished. 

It's truly amazing and astonishing to take a step back and feel the love that surrounds that one perfect baby. It's beautiful, joyful, tender, fun, easy, unconditional, so very hard at times, amazing, powerful and unforgettable.  It's perfection. 

It's that a clock I hear ticking???

xo~
Elizabeth

This is dating. This is fun.

At lunch, our table is lovingly referred to as "The View" because we discuss a variety of great subjects, we have guest attendees and no topic is off limits.  I really just hope I'm not Elizabeth Hasselback because, while her fashion sense is commendable, she totally annoys me. Anyway, I digress. Last week, we were discussing the dating scene and all that it entails. What exactly does dating mean?  When are you dating someone and when are you just having fun?  Why don’t guys always get the difference? It probably goes without saying that men and women have differing opinions on the subject.  But from the girls at our lunch table's perspective here you have it. Boys listen up.

"Fun" is:

• Texting is the main mode of communication.
• Meeting up with someone for the sole purpose of, well, to put it out there, getting it on. 
• If you get together, great. If not, no bigs.
• Waking up the next morning, unmentionables stuffed in your wristlet, heels in hand, and high-tailing it out of his place...as quietly as possible BTW.
• Texting a guy/girl on Friday to see if he wants to grab a drink on Friday night.
• Sharing a meal with a person of the opposite sex without any commitment to walk his dog, however both of you know, he definitely has to pay the tab.
• Not making plans with each other but running into each other while out and about....you may or may not spend the night together as a result.
• He meets your friends because your run into him while out with your friends.
• He doesn't have a real name when you discuss him with your girlfriends...he gets a nickname only. I.e. Random Andrew, Ace or G.I. Joe.
• There is no assumption to do anything with him on "date" night.
• Your family doesn't necessarily know he exists.
• Holidays are just another day and no gifts are necessary. And, she fully understands and accepts that. (Good luck with this one guys.)
• If there is an event that requires a plus one, you really have to think about who you would bring.
• No exclusivity is implied, expected or even wanted...yet.

Dating is:

• It's Friday night and you notify him about your plans that may or may not include him.
• You pack an overnight purse with an extra set of unmentionables, a toothbrush and sensible shoes for breakfast the next morning.
• You do your make-up or hair in his bathroom before going out somewhere...together or separately.
• You leave (and he's ok with you leaving) absolutely anything at his place that you fully intend to use, pick-up or see again. If your stuff has a place at his place, it's dating.
• You don't just run into each other out and about.  You're out.  He's out, but you both know where each other is and then you run into each other.
• You make and follow through with plans with each other...dinner, dates, trips, visits, etc.
• He meets your friends on purpose.
• You split the bill this time, because he's picked up the tab the last few times.
• He brings you flowers back from the grocery store while he's picking up the ingredient you forgot that you sent him to get.
• You see him a couple times per week...regularly. 
• He watches The Bachelor with you not just for the bikini-clad Bachelorettes.
• He has a real name to your friends.
• The girl buys him any type of apparel, unless it's a graphic tee depicting something from Old School.
• You can actually call him on his phone, anytime for any reason.
• The subject of exclusivity may not have been clearly defined, but if there is an event that requires a plus one, you would have to find a way out of bringing this guy...because you are dating him.

I could go on and on and on. The moral of the story is girls and guys often times think about matters of the heart very differently.  I’m not an overly emotional girly girl, however, there are some actions that lead me (and most girls) to imply things that may not have been said (yet)….see list above. If those things are happening, the way I’ve described, this is what we think is going on.  Guys, you’re welcome.

Happy Dating or Fun...whatever you are doing!

xo~

Elizabeth